Followership
Last year I read a book that broke my brain, called "Leaders Eat Last". I had begun to think that a "management" role might be somewhere in my future, and I knew enough about the topic to realize that people tend to disrespect "managers" and respect "leaders". I thought I should try to learn the difference, and whether and why it matters.
What "Leaders Eat Last" is about is essentially the idea of "servant leadership." The book, through a number of stories, illustrations, and explanations, argues that what makes a leader out of a manager, or a person in any other role, is a dedication to putting the team ahead of individual ambitions and obligations. The book is full of examples of managers, executives, military officers, and other people in leadership roles, taking on what some might consider undignified tasks or unnecessary risks, to make sure that the team gets a win, that the more vulnerable members aren't left behind, etc.
As a person with no official authority I have struggled with translating this into advice I can enact. But lately it occurred to me that if you take the consideration of official position or role out of the picture, what's left is very simply a good teammate, a good follower. This has proven a jagged pill to swallow. While I think I have good instincts, valuable perspective, and decent judgement... I don't think I have historically been a good follower.
Whether it was sowing dissent because I believed the manager was making bad choices, or keeping learning opportunities away from junior devs because I wanted to make sure things got done right, at the time I felt certain I was doing the right thing. In hindsight, and in the context of the idea of servant leadership, it's clear that at best I was being selfish, and at worst I was a seed of dysfunction hiding behind the guise of shipping product.
I am humbled. Clearly I have plenty of room to grow. But for once, I think I know what direction I need to grow in, and that is comforting. And it's strangely empowering to know that the path to greater impact and responsibility lies in taking on a bigger burden and building up others, rather than worrying about positioning and appearances and aggressively pursing and defending correctness.